After half a year of getting to know each other, Gabriela[1], a mother of seven, agreed for us to come over and paint a wall in her living room. How happy we were. The house had only two bedrooms and a living room / kitchen. When the children weren’t at home, there was no chance to even start, too much noise and stress. But now, Gabriela agreed upon choosing a suitable moment for the walls to be painted. We eventually settled on painting the week before her birthday. Then everything would be neat when it was her birthday, and she could enjoy the party with a festive feeling. For us, her consent felt like breakthrough. We wanted to help, and we were very happy she trusted us enough to let us help her.
She canceled at the last minute. She had some really bad experiences, and she didn’t want to paint anymore. Everything was pointless in her eyes.
The following Saturday we brought food. Although she still had an angry look, she seemed to have calmed down a bit. “What was that all about?” I asked, “Why did you drop out?” She said that Social Services suddenly deducted a large amount from her benefit. A few months ago, she had debts to the water and electricity company, but while those debts had been fully paid off, Social Services felt that, for the next year, they should make the payments directly from her benefits. Of course, there would be a margin, so that there would no longer be a shortage. She became furious again; “I barely make ends meet and do everything I can to pay the bills. Now Social Services uses that margin to make it even more difficult for me to pay the bills.” I understood her completely. The thoughts of some authorities in Aruba are inscrutable. But going against it wouldn’t help.
I was afraid that her confidence towards us had also been dented by this incident. Whatever we said, painting the wall was no longer an option for now. I understood, but I was also disappointed. I once again explained to her that we did not like the intervention of Social Services either and that we did not do our work based on rules, but out of love. But of course, that didn’t help. She couldn’t buy a cake for her birthday and enjoy it with the children. So, everything else felt a bit pointless as well.
Sunday was her birthday. I kept thinking about her and told my wife that I actually wanted to bring her a cake or something. My wife told me she had a pack of brownie mix. An hour later, I brought them to her, I had made them myself. How surprised and happy she was. Even though things went wrong, she still had cake on her birthday. Despite everything, she enjoyed a little bit of a good start of her new year!
[1] Fictitious name
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